Painting

10-15
Just got back from painting my brother's kitchen. I went down to replace a couple windows, but he had the painting as a priority. He and his wife live about a 3 1/2 hour drive from me. I do these things to help out because:
1. in 1972 he was hit by a train and over the years he has been able to do less and less of this kind of work. He's 63 now. Here is a guy who loved to get up on the roof and put on the electric company's annual budget of Christmas displays. Can't do it anymore.
2. my 81 year old mum lives with him. You all know how mum is, she isn't bad, just that she is mum.
3. they give me a little something besides gas money. A couple years ago they had to have the house painted and I did it. It took a hell of a time coming down on weekends to paint it…and being on a 25 foot ladder, especially fiberglass, isn't my idea of fun! I saved them about half.
4. I am the only relative right now who comes to help.
We, I mean the most of us who interact consistently with our families, do this kind of stuff out of some sense of connection to the past or where we came from. Even if their real self and your real self don't exist in the same reality. My brother is a homophobe and I, of course, am a homo!
He's amazing for all he's been through. He can't work a full time job. His wife, the most wonderful of people, works full time in the insurance and investment trade. He is an Elk, and I think, truely cares about the less fortunate, unless you are gay, of course.
11-2
I finished painting their kitchen last weekend. It was the usual, my niece, he husband and 2 young kids moved in about a month ago so they can sell their house to avoid what ever in their lives they are avoiding. The tension between the 2 of them can be a bit much. I mentioned that maybe they could keep this type of stuff to a minimum while I'm there working because it makes it difficult to be there and my niece accused me of psychoanalyzing her!!!
I may be a therapist and deal with this stuff at my job, I told her, but I certainly never psychoanalyze anyone, least of all her.
I have never understood this tendency of parents to continually help out their kids. I have a friend from high school whose sons, even after having bought homes of their own, lived at their parents' until in their 30's. Or bailing out the financially strapped. In case of a catastrophic event, like extended illness or accident, of course family should rally, but poor financial planning or spending sprees, what is the term?…shopping therapy?…If one becomes destitute, that's another exception and I'm sure there are others, but…
Having never had children, I guess I am destined to never acquire that knowledge. I just don't understand. Birds protect their youth until they can fly and feed on their own or another brood hatched (with some wierd exceptions), again but…

Back to painting. I'm good at it. Not fast, but a close to perfectionist and I take pride in the work. And it's not the thank you's or in some instances the monetary reward. It's a concrete measure unlike working with people, who are so different from one another and the measurement of what they want is abstract.

Maybe this weekend I'll get back to doing the painting that revs my soul…